Eschol: Tenderness After Trauma

The banner headline, above the fold, on the front page of the CAPE TIMES proclaimed: “43 children raped a day.” More than 700 children were murdered in South Africa last year. A paltry 4.5% of rape cases ended in conviction last year. That was lower than the year before. The conviction rate for murder was 13%. On the same page there was a tragic story of a 16-month old girl abducted, raped and abandoned on a vacant lot in Cape Town.

Charles Nqakula, Minister of Safety and Security gave these figures, in a written reply to a parliamentary question by Mike Waters, MP of the Democratic Alliance. “The statistics are absolutely shocking” Waters noted. “It is horrific that 43 children a day were raped. It means our culture is not changing – our society is getting worse.”

There is a myth among black men that intercourse with a virgin will cure AIDS. Since virgins are hard to find these days, the prevalent age for this kind of crime has dropped dramatically. Last year ITMI reported that six men had raped a 9-month old baby girl.

In most cases, children are too young or too traumatized to testify in court against their attacker. Authorities must rely on DNA testing. Nqakula admitted that there is a backlog of 16,600 DNA kits awaiting analysis in police forensic laboratories – “more than 9,000 have been outstanding for 71 days or longer.”

Faced with this kind of legal logjam, police and prosecutors are persuading people not to continue with rape cases. This sends the wrong message to would-be rapists who prowl the streets in growing numbers.

One of Eschol’s needy

What can be done? ITMI endorses the ministry of Eshcol, led by Graham and Jene Des Fountain. They provide a home to care for abused and abandoned children in the Cape Town area. The large 5-bedroom home they are renting has been sold and they must find alternative shelter by the end of this month. It would of course be preferable to buy, but until the funds are available they will need to find another place to rent – soon!

Graham shared with us recently some things he’s learned along the way, for example, “The most frightening moment for a child who has experienced long term trauma, such as rape on a constant basis at home, is the moment she faces her Emergency Care Father for the first time.” He paused and wiped a tear as he remembered watching little Maria on the arm of her Social Worker, walking up the path to Eshcol.

Teaching Forgiveness and Love

“Apprehensively she approached the door and smiled at Jene’s warm and inviting welcome. Then she entered the house and froze in horror as she looked up into my towering frame. I must have looked the epitome of the ‘devil incarnate’ in her little eyes.” [Now Graham sits on the floor in the middle of the living room and waits for the child to say “Hello” first.] “This tends to puts the little ones at ease” he explains, “and there’s plenty of time later to make friends.”

In Maria’s case, the first couple of days were stressful for Graham as well. He had not experienced this kind of absolute rejection before. Gradually they became friends through patient tenderness and pure unfailing love.

Visits from her biological mother were always traumatic. On one occasion after such a meeting, Graham came home a little early for lunch and found Maria perched on a windowsill, screaming and behaving like someone possessed. “I walked slowly through the living room” he remembers, “and as I entered the hallway Maria came out of one of the bedrooms and stared at me with big frightened eyes.”

Graham did the first thing that came to mind. “I knelt down on both knees and just opened my arms wide and waited for her to respond. She ran, sobbing, into my arms and I held her tight for a few moments. Then gently I picked her up and we sat in my favorite chair until she settled down and her sobs gradually ended – some few hours later.”

From her perspective Maria must have had so many beatings from her sexually frustrated father, that she fully expected another beating for the way she had just behaved. She didn’t for one minute anticipate the love and tenderness both Graham and Jene shower her with continually. But it’s working!

Graham and Jene Des Fountain

“This is why we are so determined” Jene explains, “to raise awareness here on the peninsula of the plight of little children who are victims of extreme trauma.” This is also why Eshcol, under the leadership of the Des Fountains, needs to find permanent premises where the healing process can begin.

ITMI is helping achieve that goal, because we believe along with Graham and Jene, that these abandoned and abused children should have an opportunity to grow up in an environment of warmth, love and protection.

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